By Lynn Ashby 7 Nov. 2016
THE VOTING BOOTH — The fat lady has sung. OK, she’s not really fat, but Donald Trump gave Hillary a minus 10. Yes, the 2016 presidential campaign season is over. Finally. We’re all glad that bruising gutter fight is completed, we were so sick of… oh, stop the hypocrisy. We loved every minute of it, watching two con artists slug it out. Eighty-four million people viewed that first debate in one of the most vicious presidential campaigns since James Monroe vs. Rufus King in 1816. Interest was so fervent that I have stood in line for 20 minutes in early voting. I used to just walk in, write in my vote (me) and leave.
But what did we learn from this long, mean-spirited campaign, and where do we go from here? Well, we learned that Hillary and Bill Clinton have both a foundation and side jobs as speaker that bring in millions, and sometimes they mix the two. Chelsea is a “spoiled brat” and Hillary, under oath, sometimes can’t remember her name. We learned that nobody ever voted for Ted Cruz, at least I can’t find anyone who did, not for senator, not for president. Yet we also know we shall get another chance, maybe several. Cruz has already begun his 2020 campaign for the White House, so the closest he has come to appearing in the Capitol is that his face is on milk cartons in the Senate dining room. After being called every dirty name in the book by Trump, and vice versa, Cruz announced that he wouldn’t vote for Trump, then announced he would. That’s what we like in our leadership, non-leadership. Texas’ other U.S. senator, John Cornyn, is busy climbing up the GOP ladder, so Texas is virtually unrepresented in the U.S. Senate. That’s why none of those old NASA spaceships wound up in Space City. Houston got a fiberglass mockup.
We learned that Trump is an egomaniac, a narcissist who tends to stretch the truth. We also know that he has millions of supporters who would vote for him even if, in The Donald’s words, he shot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue. We have learned more about his business practices than we really want to know. One fact we shall probably never learn is what the Trumpster paid in federal income taxes, although every presidential candidate since James Monroe and Rufus King, including Hillary Clinton, released theirs. This doesn’t seem to bother a lot of his supporters, who are upset that Hillary’s tax forms show she made millions capitalizing on her fame and potential power. To no one’s surprise, we learned again “Fox News” is an oxymoron, and that it will ignore Trump’s insults and snarling put-downs of Fox and its anchors to shamelessly suck up to him. Wonder what changes will be made at Fox after the elections, if Megyn Kelly and Bill O’Reilly jump ship, and Sean Hannity becomes a game show host on “You Bet Your Soul.” As for the rest of the media, they can’t be trusted to tell us the correct time.
We learned that both parties’ establishments vastly underestimated the fear millions of Americans have about the huge flow of immigrants pouring in. Washington just didn’t get it. This fear breaks down into two parts: the flow of undocumented Hispanics coming across the Rio taking Americans’ jobs, and Syrians hiding bombs under their thobes. Trump spotted that fear and exploited it. Worked like a charm. Another facet of his campaign was trade deals which, he said, were so one-sided that, again, they took away U.S. jobs. Most voters haven’t a clue what’s in those trade agreements, who they help and who they hurt, but we learned that this fear is real and can also be easily exploited. We found out that the Banana Republic is not only a chain of clothing stores, but a new political strategy: If you win a presidential election, you can throw your losing opponent in jail. Trump and his campaign were so odious that even the Koch brothers and Sheldon Adelson couldn’t stomach him or it, and gave their money to other Republican candidates. However, the only newspaper of any size to endorse Trump was the Las Vegas Review-Journal which is, coincidentally, owned by Sheldon Adelson.
Whatever happened to the tea party? It was a noisy minority in previous elections (see: Cruz, Ted, above) with their Uncle Sam and Revolutionary War-era costumes, but we didn’t hear much about them this time around. I guess they became Trump supporters and were drowned out by The Donald’s fans. We were told time and again that “this is the most important election in American history!” We shall hear that again in 2020 and every presidential election forever, which brings us to: Where do we go from here? Based on what we have learned in this election cycle, we can safely assume that both parties will avoid using emails. (As an aside, and maybe as a result, one of Germany’s intelligence agencies is using a state-of-the-art technical marvel for its sensitive communications: typewriters, ink ribbons and paper. Honest.) Julian Assange will be made the official Republican Party’s mascot, if he can get out of the Ecuadorian embassy in London.
Sen. Bernie Sanders, building on his Children’s Crusade in 2016, will run again. So will Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush (this time with energy), Mike Pence, all the usual suspects and possibly Donald Trump. Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney and Rick Perry will toss their frayed hats in the ring. Russian hackers will be busy. Rigged election results will be a hot topic again, particularly among the losers. After the election, pundits will explain to us how the winners won – something they neatly avoided saying prior to the election. And you and I can hardly wait till it all begins again. Hey, it’s my turn to vote. Wonder if I can write in Rufus King?
Ashby votes at Ashby2@comcast.net