Moody Gardens Holiday of Lights

November 30, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Events, Travel Blog

Moody Gardens should be on your holiday calendar every year! Offering something for all ages, from the Festival of lights, to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in 4-D, your family will enjoy time spent here.

We arrived around 4:00pm to give us a time to explore the property before dusk. Start with a quick tour of the rainforest pyramid. This is the type of exhibit you can explore at your own pace. Be sure to look for the River Otter and watch out for the White-faced Saki monkeys who literally roam the tree tops of the rainforest.

No visit to Moody Gardens would be complete without saying hello to the penguins. You’ll encounter some sharks as you take the Caribbean tunnel to see the penguins.

Next, The North Pole meets the Caribbean as Moody Gardens introduces ICE LAND: Ice Sculptures, A Caribbean Christmas. For the third year in a row, Carvers have come from China to sculpt two million pounds of ice. This cool holiday attraction features nine scenes such as scuba diving, a towering oilrig, tropical fish and more; all maintained at a chilling nine degrees.

 

At dusk it’s time to walk the one-mile Festival of lights trail filled with sound-enhanced lighting and animated displays. This leisurely walk features spectacular lights, trains, fish, butterflies, and culminates with the North Pole. The walk takes about 30 minutes.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE TICKETS

Admission to the Festival of Lights is $10.95 and other ticking options vary.

TERM LIMITATIONS

November 28, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Hot Button / Lynn Ashby

 

THE MEETING HALL – As usual, our chairman, Bottom Line, called the group to order as quick as a New York minute. “Fellow members, welcome to another meeting of Club Cliché, where the thread-bare gather to trot out all those shop-worn shibboleths, overused words and terms that were once fresh and cute but today are over-the-hill, dead as a doornail and their shelf life has expired. I see some old friends out there like Occupy Wall Street and your cousin, Wall Street to Main Street. Hi, to you, Man Up and Shovel Ready. Same for Sit Around Singing Kumbaya. I guess you are still is use, like Gravitas, Low Hanging Fruit and On the Wrong Side of History. I see Spot On and Shelf Life are still around. To all of you, I have a real surprise this time, which I shall save for later.”

Boots on the Ground spoke up. “Some of my war-time buddies are here which I’d like to introduce. There is R&R and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder better known as PTSD, which took over from Battle Fatigue and Shell Shocked. We have WMDs, which don’t exist, also Radicalized and Embolden Our Enemies.” Bottom Line nodded in approval. “I think they have more than earned their membership. Yes, you there. You have a question?”

Millennial asked: “What’s a shibboleth?”

Bottom Line answered: “You are. The word has gone through many changes over the years, but today it means jargon, inside baseball or well-worn passwords. Millennial I think qualifies. Moving on, Give a Shout Out wants to gives a shout out. To whom?

Shout Out stood up and shouted out: “WHERE’S YOU GO, GIRL?”

“Alas, You Go Girl is no longer with us, which brings us to that sad part of the meeting:

Those who have been dropped from our membership due to lack of overuse. Sorry, Boooring, you were so overused, but not anymore. Same for Wazzup? During the ebola scare, every TV news story had to get in Protocol, but ebola is not hot anymore and neither is Protocol.

“It’s not fair to kick out terms that have been beaten to death on TV,” said Breaking News. “That’s especially true for our sportscasters. Take, for example, pro hoops, the ‘Boys and ‘Stros. Not to mention the Pinstripes, frozen rope, walk-off and pick six. Don’t forget FloMoJo and basketball shots from Downtown. Our jock-talkers wouldn’t have a show without boring and repetitious clichés. We can’t even call the Super Bowl that anymore. The NFL copyrighted the name and sues anyone who uses it. Now it’s The Big Game.”

Bad Boy, Selfie and You Need a Bigger Boat applauded.

“I’ve been wondering,” asked Metrics, “what, exactly does cliché mean?”

Bottom Line explained: “It’s from the French ‘clic-chez,’ pronounced klee-SHAY, meaning ‘expressions used by the rhetorically challenged.’ Now I see Dumb Down wishes to speak.”

Dumb Down stood up. “No one uses clichés more than our politicians. I’m going to miss John Boehner, he used them constantly, like Whack-a-Mole, Adult Conversation and Nuclear Option. But we still have Gridlock and Skin in the Game. Politicians used to receive opposition, but now it’s Pushback.” Bricks & Mortar raised its hand. “I still miss Come Out of the Shadows and Corporations Are People, Too.”

Get a Life and its cousin, Get a Room, waved for attention. “That brings us to our current political deadly tattered phrases, like Make America Great Again, Nasty Women, Income Gap and Fly-Over America, which make us grit our teeth every time we hear them.” Bottom Line took over again. “This campaign has also given new life to the hated press. Drive-by Media is back. So is Liberal Press and Newt Gingrich’s favorite term, the Elite Media, which he manages to work into every sentence. Then we have the Lame Stream Media. It always gets a laugh. As for the surprise I mentioned, a big cliché welcome to Post-truth, which has been named Oxford Dictionaries’ 2016 international word of the year, wining out over a field that included Adulting, Alt-right and Brixiteer. It also beat out Coulrophobia which is an extreme or irrational fear of clowns. That term surged after that rash of reports of scary clowns.”

Multitask had a question. “Wonder whatever happened to that scary clown fad? I guess they all piled into a VW Beatle and drove off.”

Bottom Line continued. “The use of Post-truth is defined as – hang on — ‘relating to things in which objective facts mean less than appeals to emotion and personal belief.’ In other words, don’t let the truth or the facts get in the way of what you want to believe. Oxford found a 2,000 percent growth of Post-truth over last year, and – to no one’s surprise — much of this usage can be traced directly to Donald Trump supporters. They simply ignore his statements, such as he knows more about ISIS than the generals, or that unemployment is up – it’s down considerably from when Obama took office – or that he can’t release his taxes until his audit is complete – the IRS said he could release them anytime. He also said, ‘I will never settle the Trump University suit out of court.’ He did, and paid $25 million. There are more of Trump’s Post-truths, but you get the idea.”

“What’s the difference between a Post-truth and Truthiness?” asked Mojo.

“A good question,” said our leader. “Truthiness was coined by Stephen Colbert 10 years ago, and was so popular that Merriam-Webster and the American Dialect Society each chose Truthiness as its word of the year. Truthiness is a humorous way of discussing a truth or fact that is not exactly a lie, just borderline or slightly slanted. But Post-truth goes a step further, and turns outright lies into believable thoughts. Hey, some 61 million voters suspended their brains and bought Trump’s Post-truths.”

“What’s the takeaway from this?” asked Takeaway.

“The same as always,” said Bottom Line. “Avoid clichés like the plague.”

 

Ashby is a cliche at ashby2@comcast.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN A COLLEGE BECOMES A UNIVERSITY

November 21, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Hot Button / Lynn Ashby

 

Did you win or lose in the recent democracy inaction? Probably both. Texas scored big, at least some did, a few bombed. The Democratic Party showed once again its ineptitude, and the much-vaunted Latino vote never manifested. Texas’s winners were the early Trump supporters including Gov. Greg Abbott, Lite Gov. Dan Patrick and Atty. General Ken Paxton. How so? President-elect Donald Trump will nominate a like-minded justice to keep the U.S. Supreme Court arch-conservative. It will overturn all those bothersome interferences from Washington dealing with Texas’ laws on abortion, voter ID, pollution, gerrymandering and the Emancipation Proclamation. Texas taxpayers will benefit by not having to continue paying multi-million dollar legal bills the state has been racking up defending our right to discriminate against those lesser mortals.

Our state legislature remains firmly in the hands of hard-line (some would say cro-Magnon) lawmakers who maintain their power to draw up new legislative and Congressional lines after the next U.S. Census when Texas will get two or more U.S. representatives. One guess as to which party will get them. Another big Texas loser is Sen. Ted Cruz, although he was mentioned as attorney general. He now will have to dismantle all those “Cruz in ‘20” banners. So will Sen. Marco Rubio who vowed not to run for the Senate again then did, and won. Let’s see, there was that other Bush, Jeb! and Rick Santorum plus a herd of hopefuls. Now their chances are gone. Winners are those who land federal positions, starting with his cabinet. Newt Gingrich was being touted as Secretary of State. Within a week we shall be at war with Finland. Jesse Sessions our next Attorney General? Hey, Hillary, you’ll look great in an orange pants suit. Among the other losers are the thousands of Obama appointees who are working on their resumes – judges, department heads, Smokey the Bear. The U.S. is the only country that replaces its ambassadors with every change in administration. Why do we do that? Campaign contributors. FBI Director James Comey was a loser no matter who won. He had the uncanny ability to chap both candidates and both sides. He’s three years into a 10-year term and can’t be fired, but Trump can confiscate Comey’s truncheon.

This brings us to the Clintons. The Oval Office’s glass ceiling remains shatter-proof. Gone are the glory days of raking in millions on the speaking tours, and the Clinton Foundation has a cracked slab. Then there is her autobiography, which is probably on hold until a publisher can be found; maybe she’ll distribute it by email. Actually, Hillary’s last book didn’t do too well, but they still have their fortune, plus all they’ll make on the Clinton Presidential Library with its admission fees, T-shirts (“It takes more than a village to support us”) and the Monica Lewinski Weight Watchers Diet Manual. Russian President Vladimir Putin won’t say he’s a winner, but has booked the Lincoln Bedroom for inauguration day. Incidentally, Trump’s speech writers have changed the presidential oath to “so help me– me.” The media are big-time losers. Trump, who calls the press “scum,” has said he wants looser libel laws so that he can sue any publication that says catty things about him. Expect the First Amendment to be put on an ice floe and pushed into an ocean that used to be the Arctic. (Global warming is a myth.) The winner is Fox News, which even now is planning a sit-com, “Good Fences.”

Big winners are late night TV comedians. No Drama Obama was eight long years of drought for comic writers. Hillary is dull, so punch lines would have been scarce. But Trump? “He learned about foreign affairs by having several of them, plus what he picked up at the International House of Pancakes. Trump thinks Siani is the plural of sinus. The West Wing will now be known as the Right Wing. But seriously, folks….” Military contractors are lining up K Street lobbyists to get some of those billions that Trump promised to spend on defense. He will pay for it by cutting out all federal funds for Planned Parenthood and public broadcasting. How many times did The Donald say, to cheering crowds, that he will build a wall along our southern border, and Mexico will pay for it? Who wants to bet it will actually be done, and if it isn’t, it’s not his fault?

Pre-voting news stories noted the heavy turnout at the polls. More early voting, long lines, etc. In fact, fewer voters cast their ballots this time than last. So much for the heavy voting hoopla. Ditto for the “sleeping giant” that was supposed to be the Latino vote. Jorge Ramos, who got in a shouting match on TV at a Trump news conference, kept boasting about how the Latino vote would decide the outcome. No way, Jorge. They voted heavily for Hillary. She lost.

Certainly big losers were the pollsters. I can’t find anyone who predicted that Trump would win so easily. The explanation is simple: voters were asked who they would vote for. Most people answered, Clinton, and they did. Hillary beat Trump in the popular votes by 1 to 2 million. But, like Al Gore, she was defeated by the Electoral College, aka, Trump University: 306 for Trump, 232 for Hillary. How can pollsters ask: Which way are your state’s Electoral College votes going to be cast? Until they figure that out, these polls are useless. The millions of Americans who voted for Trump said they want lower taxes, smaller government and fewer regulations; they are sick of being ignored by Washington, and what have you done for me lately? These are the same people who want Medicare, Social Security checks, a cop on every street corner (to regulate?) and subsidies for their biofuels. Oh, and free college education. Which is it? Some might call that blatant hypocrisy, others call it a winning formula.

 

Ashby wins at ashby2@comcast.net

 

 

WE’RE NUMBER 1 — OR MAYBE NOT

November 19, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Hot Button / Lynn Ashby

 

 

THE OFFICE – I am looking at my choice, but first let’s talk about yours. You wake up in the middle of the night to discover that your house (or apartment, tent, hovel) is on fire. You move your family, pets and pot plants safely to the front yard, where all your neighbors can see what you look like in jockey shorts and a bathrobe. You hear the sirens, help is on the way, but there is still time to run in the house and retrieve a single item. What would it be? Your grandfather’s portrait, the stamp collection, the Glock Long Slide requested by your student kid who is mad at her chemistry prof?

It’s all a matter of what you value in descending order, a matter of priorities. Right now our priorities are being skewered. We start with the state (lower case) of Texas. My first priority would be to create a monarchy with me as king, complete with a throne. This is not a power grab but a return to normalcy. Do you really think Gov. Greg Abbott and Lite Gov. Dan Patrick feel as we do about what’s important to us? How about education? Texas is now ranked 43rd in the nation, falling from 39th last year, in the annual “Quality Counts” report from a national education publication, Education Week. Another new national study says Texas has the lowest education standards in the nation — giving the state a D+. Maybe this explains former Texas Gov. George W. Bush’s famous observation: “Rarely is the question been asked: Is our children learning?” Yet our state leaders spend more time dealing with school restrooms than with school academics.

Texas’ leaders demand that Washington stay out of our business, especially when it comes to voter ID (the most restrictive in the nation), pollution and abortions (the most restrictive in the nation). At the same time Patrick sees no hypocrisy in meddling in others’ business. He told the Fort Worth ISD to fire its superintendent for obeying a federal decree on transgender bathrooms. He stepped into Houston’s referendum on an equal rights referendum. He’s always writing hot letters, given speeches and putting his nose in local affairs while he is the Number 2 official in a state that ranks 34th among the 50 in health care, 21st in public school systems, we are 36th in “Best States” and 30th in “Bike Friendly States.”

The Houston School Board presides over a district that includes Kashmere High. The Texas Education Commission has had to take control of Kashmere after it failed to meet the state’s academic standards for seven straight years. The HISD board is constantly claiming it needs more funds. But the board says it is spending $1.2 million (we may never know the final amount) to change the names of eight schools named for Confederate leaders, or even privates. The changes include (after 90 years!) that of Sidney Lanier, a poet, author, composer and, oddly enough, a school teacher. Fourteen schools, a college, other structures and two lakes are named for him. Lanier’s crime is that, as a young man during the Civil War, he served aboard a British blockade runner and was captured by a Union warship, thrown in prison where he contacted tuberculosis, and never recovered.

There goes “Tom Sawyer,” because Mark Twain served in the Marion Rangers, Confederate Army, for two weeks. We have an entire Texas university named after Confederate Gen. Sul Ross. UT-Austin was all upset because some Rebs’ statues are on campus. George Littlefield, the largest single donor to UT, (Littlefield this and Littlefield that) was an officer in the CSA. How much time and energy have been spent on allowing guns in university classrooms, dorms and frat beer parties? Triggeronometry 101. But does anyone care that U.S. News just ranked Longhorn U. as Number 56 (down from 52) among the best 240 U.S. colleges?

As attorney general, Gov. Abbott and his successor, Ken Paxton (himself facing both civil and criminal charges), continue to fight abortion rights and spend millions of our tax dollars in doing so. These publicity stunts generated this article in a recent New York Times: “Something terrible has happened to preg­nant women in Texas: their mortality rate has doubled in recent years, and is now compara­ble to rates in places like Russia or Ukraine. Although researchers into this disaster are careful to say that it can’t be attributed to any one cause, the death surge does coincide with the state’s defunding of Planned Parenthood, which led to the closing of many clinics.”

Then there are redistricting and voter fraud. Abbott and now Paxton have been spending millions in an unsuccessful attempt to uphold our voter ID laws. Why? Says Abbott: “The fact is voter fraud is rampant.” Not quite. In 10 years’ worth of elections in Texas at all levels from school board to governor there have been fewer than two fraud convictions a year. We execute more than that. Couldn’t our money be better spent on, for instance, Texas women’s health? There’s more: From 2000 to 2014, per the Texas Secretary of State’s online record, about 72 million ballots were cast in Texas, and that’s not even counting municipal and other local-only elections. An analysis made by a Rutgers University political science professor, Lorraine Minnite, found during that time, there were three – yes, THREE! — credible allegations of fraud in Texas elections.

Actually, our problem may not be too many but too few voters. In the last midterm elections, voter turnout in Texas was just 28.5 percent of those eligible to vote, the lowest percentage in the country. In last spring’s party primaries, Texas had the second lowest voting-age participation rate, behind Louisiana. It would seem we only want to keep out certain voters, if you get my drift.

Now help me get my Number 1 priority out of my house before it burns. Thrones are heavy.

 

Ashby’s priorities are ashby2@comcst.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Luxury hotels arrive in Bryan College Station

November 19, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Travel Blog

the-george-3

The George

Bryan-College Station is quickly becoming one of the state’s top emerging leisure destinations. Who would have thought? But with the opening of not one, but three boutique hotels by March 2017, along with new leisure amenities including a lake, hiking trails, and restaurants and retail, Bryan-College Station is poised to be more than just Texas A&M.

The leisure boom starts with The Stella, a sleek 4-star property opening in March 2017. The Stella will offer amenities such as a seasonally driven restaurant, hip craft cocktail bar, specialty coffee roaster, outdoor pool and poolside cabanas. The hotel, which is just minutes away from the acclaimed Traditions Club and Community, is surrounded by an abundance of new restaurants and retail stores, as well as a new 5-acre lake, waterfront park, various health/wellness activities and over two miles of hiking trails.

calvary-court-3

Calvary Court

In addition to the The Stella, Houston-based Valencia Group is opening two new properties in the coming months; Calvary Court, a 141-room new vintage inspired property and The George, a 162-room boutique hotel that will bring an authentic, refined experience to the area.

 

 

Thanksgiving at Tony Mandola’s

November 18, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Dining, Events

Leave the Cooking to Tony Mandola’s this Thanksgiving
Houston, Texas. November 11, 2016. Owners Phyllis and Tony Mandola are doing the shopping and chopping so you don’t have to this Thanksgiving.  Place your orders between November 1st to November 18th,  secured with a credit card with option to pay with the card or other forms of payment at pick up. Orders will be ready for pickup on Wednesday November the 23rd. between 9:00 am to 6:00 pm at the restaurant. Heating instructions for Turkeys and sides will be provided.

For more information or reservations, please call 713-528-3474, or visitwww.TonyMandolas.com
A la Carte Menu (feeds 6-8 people)
Cajun Fried Turkey $64.99
Roasted Turkey $56.99
Broccoli Casserole $16.99
Candied Yams $16.99
Cornbread Dressing $14.99
Creamed Spinach Casserole $16.99
Fresh Cranberry Sauce $13.99
Green Bean Casserole $16.99
Parmesan Potatoes $16.99
Quart of Gravy $9.50
Banana Key Lime Pie $32.00
Bread Pudding $20.00
Pumpkin Pie $20.00
1 full pan of Grandmas Meat Lasagna $72.00

“Make it a meal” options: (feeds 6-8 people)

1 Cajun Fried Turkey with 3 sides and a choice of Bread Pudding or Pumpkin Pie $150
Or
1 Roasted Turkey with 3 sides and a choice of Bread pudding or Pumpkin Pie $145

Tony Mandola’s Gulf Coast Kitchen is a New Orleans style Oyster Bar and Seafood House, with an Italian flair. Known for its fresh Texas Gulf Seafood – shrimp, oysters, fish, and home-made pastas, red beans and rice, Mama’s Gumbo, and Mama’s Bourbon Bread Pudding.
Hours of Operation:
Sunday-Tuesday: 11am – 9pm
Wednesday-Thursday: 11am – 9:30pm
Friday-Saturday: 11am – 10:30pm
Tony Mandola’s Gulf Coast Kitchen, 1212 Waugh Drive, Houston, TX 77019. For more information please visit www.TonyMandolas.com or call 713-528-3474.

Thanksgiving at the Granduca

November 18, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Dining, Events

Leave the Holiday Cooking to Hotel Granduca Houston

with a Thanksgiving Day Brunch Featuring Italian Accents

At Ristorante Cavour

Round up family and friends on Thanksgiving Day to kick off the holiday season with an extravagant buffet prepared by Chef Enrico Glaudo 

November, 2016 (Houston, Texas) – It’s everyone’s favorite time of year and Hotel Granduca Houstonis celebrating in distinctive style with a Thanksgiving Day Brunch like no other. Round up family and friends for a festive feast with rich Italian flavors within the beauty of Ristorante Cavour, a serene setting for fine dining and one of the “Best Brunches” in Houston.

Combining the traditional ambiance of an Italian Palazzo with rustic Texas charm, Hotel Granduca Houston is the premier destination for locals and out-of-town guests alike in one of the city’s most exclusive neighborhoods. Thanksgiving Day Brunch at Ristorante Cavour will unfold on Thursday, November 24, from 11am-3pm. Cost: $85 per person, $40 for children 5 to 12 years of age, plus tax and service.

Highlights of Executive Chef Enrico Glaudo‘s holiday brunch menu include:

  • Seafood – Octopus, potato, mixed olive salad, lemon dressing / Seared tuna, spicy cous cous salad / Fried bay scallops, spinach salad, apple shallot dressing / Smoked salmon, spaghetti, fennel salad, lemon-truffle yogurt dressing / Fresh blue point oysters / King crab legs
  • Vegetables – Roasted carrots, honey-chianti dressing, toasted hazelnuts / Eggplant funghetto, with garlic and oregano / Taggiasca olive tapenade tomato bruschetta / Roasted button mushroom / saffron cauliflower, curry aioli
  • Cheese and Charcuterie – Dry salami / Smoked and spiced speck / Cacio al tartufo / Pecorino toscano / Goat cheese in salsa verde
  • Pasta and Risotto – Green pea and scallop risotto / Asparagus and porcini risotto / Ricotta zucchini, pomegranate lasagna
  • Thanksgiving Traditions – Carved herb-roasted turkey breast / Chestnuts and focaccia stuffing / Green beans Amandine / Cranberry sauce / Butternut Casserole with Amaretto and almonds
  • Carving – Roasted prime rib / au jus / Creamy prepared horseradish sauce / Red onion jam / Pistachio crusted salmon / Lemon beurre blanc / Whipped potatoes
  • Eggs & More – Create your own omelet from a wide selection of condiments / Eggs Benedict
  • Breakfast Corner – Waffles with mascarpone cheese & berries / Thick cut Applewood smoked bacon, pork sausage, turkey bacon / Pancakes / Bread pudding
  • The Sweet Corner – Pecan pie / Pumpkin pie / Tiramisu / Almond ricotta cheese tart / Triple chocolate mousse / Cranberry pannacotta / Create your own parfait

With the long Thanksgiving weekend, Hotel Granduca Houston invites guests to stay awhile at their residential-style retreat. Enjoy good times and holiday shopping in the city and make family memories that last a lifetime with the Reconnect with … Your Family package, which includes:

  • Two-bedroom suite
  • Milk and cookies on arrival
  • Four tickets to Houston Zoo or Children’s Museum
  • Family Movie Night in your suite with popcorn and candy
  • Full family breakfast on Veranda or in your suite (up to four guests)
  • Free daily ice cream treat for kids
  • Package priced at $1,130

For more information or to make reservations at Hotel Granduca Houston, please call 1(888)472-6382 or visit www.granducahouston.com.

 

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TOP OF THE ROCK

November 9, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Travel Blog

Top of the Top of the Rock is a nature-based heritage preserve and majestic extension of the award-winning resort experience at Big Cedar Lodge. A true celebration of the land, animals, and people that came before us, Top of the Rock honors the alluring landscape and rich history of southwest Missouri. The preserve offers two award-winning golf experiences, adventures through ancient limestone canyons, remarkable restaurants with awe-inspiring views, and at the heart of it all, a 35,000-square-foot history museum featuring the foremost collection of Native American art and artifacts ever assembled making Top of the Rock a landmark first for the region.

POP OPEN THE CAMPAIGN

November 7, 2016 by  
Filed under Blogs, Hot Button / Lynn Ashby

 

By Lynn Ashby                                               7 Nov. 2016

THE VOTING BOOTH — The fat lady has sung. OK, she’s not really fat, but Donald Trump gave Hillary a minus 10. Yes, the 2016 presidential campaign season is over. Finally. We’re all glad that bruising gutter fight is completed, we were so sick of… oh, stop the hypocrisy. We loved every minute of it, watching two con artists slug it out. Eighty-four million people viewed that first debate in one of the most vicious presidential campaigns since James Monroe vs. Rufus King in 1816. Interest was so fervent that I have stood in line for 20 minutes in early voting. I used to just walk in, write in my vote (me) and leave.

But what did we learn from this long, mean-spirited campaign, and where do we go from here? Well, we learned that Hillary and Bill Clinton have both a foundation and side jobs as speaker that bring in millions, and sometimes they mix the two. Chelsea is a “spoiled brat” and Hillary, under oath, sometimes can’t remember her name. We learned that nobody ever voted for Ted Cruz, at least I can’t find anyone who did, not for senator, not for president. Yet we also know we shall get another chance, maybe several. Cruz has already begun his 2020 campaign for the White House, so the closest he has come to appearing in the Capitol is that his face is on milk cartons in the Senate dining room. After being called every dirty name in the book by Trump, and vice versa, Cruz announced that he wouldn’t vote for Trump, then announced he would. That’s what we like in our leadership, non-leadership. Texas’ other U.S. senator, John Cornyn, is busy climbing up the GOP ladder, so Texas is virtually unrepresented in the U.S. Senate. That’s why none of those old NASA spaceships wound up in Space City. Houston got a fiberglass mockup.

We learned that Trump is an egomaniac, a narcissist who tends to stretch the truth. We also know that he has millions of supporters who would vote for him even if, in The Donald’s words, he shot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue. We have learned more about his business practices than we really want to know. One fact we shall probably never learn is what the Trumpster paid in federal income taxes, although every presidential candidate since James Monroe and Rufus King, including Hillary Clinton, released theirs. This doesn’t seem to bother a lot of his supporters, who are upset that Hillary’s tax forms show she made millions capitalizing on her fame and potential power. To no one’s surprise, we learned again “Fox News” is an oxymoron, and that it will ignore Trump’s insults and snarling put-downs of Fox and its anchors to shamelessly suck up to him. Wonder what changes will be made at Fox after the elections, if Megyn Kelly and Bill O’Reilly jump ship, and Sean Hannity becomes a game show host on “You Bet Your Soul.” As for the rest of the media, they can’t be trusted to tell us the correct time.

We learned that both parties’ establishments vastly underestimated the fear millions of Americans have about the huge flow of immigrants pouring in. Washington just didn’t get it. This fear breaks down into two parts: the flow of undocumented Hispanics coming across the Rio taking Americans’ jobs, and Syrians hiding bombs under their thobes. Trump spotted that fear and exploited it. Worked like a charm. Another facet of his campaign was trade deals which, he said, were so one-sided that, again, they took away U.S. jobs. Most voters haven’t a clue what’s in those trade agreements, who they help and who they hurt, but we learned that this fear is real and can also be easily exploited. We found out that the Banana Republic is not only a chain of clothing stores, but a new political strategy: If you win a presidential election, you can throw your losing opponent in jail. Trump and his campaign were so odious that even the Koch brothers and Sheldon Adelson couldn’t stomach him or it, and gave their money to other Republican candidates. However, the only newspaper of any size to endorse Trump was the Las Vegas Review-Journal which is, coincidentally, owned by Sheldon Adelson.

Whatever happened to the tea party? It was a noisy minority in previous elections (see: Cruz, Ted, above) with their Uncle Sam and Revolutionary War-era costumes, but we didn’t hear much about them this time around. I guess they became Trump supporters and were drowned out by The Donald’s fans. We were told time and again that “this is the most important election in American history!” We shall hear that again in 2020 and every presidential election forever, which brings us to: Where do we go from here? Based on what we have learned in this election cycle, we can safely assume that both parties will avoid using emails. (As an aside, and maybe as a result, one of Germany’s intelligence agencies is using a state-of-the-art technical marvel for its sensitive communications: typewriters, ink ribbons and paper. Honest.) Julian Assange will be made the official Republican Party’s mascot, if he can get out of the Ecuadorian embassy in London.

Sen. Bernie Sanders, building on his Children’s Crusade in 2016, will run again. So will Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush (this time with energy), Mike Pence, all the usual suspects and possibly Donald Trump. Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney and Rick Perry will toss their frayed hats in the ring. Russian hackers will be busy. Rigged election results will be a hot topic again, particularly among the losers. After the election, pundits will explain to us how the winners won – something they neatly avoided saying prior to the election. And you and I can hardly wait till it all begins again. Hey, it’s my turn to vote. Wonder if I can write in Rufus King?

 

Ashby votes at Ashby2@comcast.net